Gotta do these when I have the chance....

Why is half of your webpage in Spanish? – Judy

Can we sniff your bales? – Judy

I don’t want kids, I want vegetables. – Katie

The lords of lettuce!* (*Attributed to Katie because that’s what I heard-Judy) Actually was Alliance Atlantis.

There’s nothing better than gas station girls. – Jeff Biley

We can eat nails and eat paint. – Deb H.

We’re in no danger here. (Fridays) – Deb H.

I would say something clever but I don’t know this song. – Ed

I think my pen is cold. – KJ
(If you write that down, make sure you space is correctly. – Ed)

You foundate people. – Ed

Movie: Birthday Bloody Birthday
- creepy little girl singing Happy Birthday
- Fancy cake covered in blood
- Blow torch, house on fire, creepy kid says “Make a wish!”

Movie: Kansas Chainsaw Bunny Massacre

Of all the roads that lead to Canada, very few are straight. – The Advocate ad

It’s hard to do lightsaber with pretzels. – Ed

Oh my god! They killed Caffrey’s! – Jen R.

Jen just screamed nipple! – KJ

Stockholm isn’t really a country. – Jen R.

I hate loaded meatballs. – Brent

There’s no Volvo in my garage. – Ed
Should there be? – JC

I keep forgetting to pee. – Bob Cone

You gotta drop and suck. – Jen

Your cooking makes me question my faith. – Get Fuzzy

I’d be dead right now if this were an emergency. – Ed

I’m thinking there’s a Dairy Queen behind the Walgreens. – Ed

When I eat less meat I need more peanutbutter. – JC

Don’t be that guy (unless, of course, you are that guy). - Dentyne-ism

If all else fails, hit the ground and start flailing. - Dentyne-ism

I’m as pretty as I’m gonna get. – Dad

I don’t mean to be rude, but I’ve got drinkin’ to do. – Night Stalker

You know, I haven’t used my rubberband gun on the cat. – Katie

When it comes to baserunning, he’s a real good pitcher. – Clint Hurdle

I think frosting makes me lie! – Ted, How I Met Your Mother

Never wear new shoes when you’re gonna run out of gas. – Ed

I gotta poke it! It’s got big bubbles! – Judy

The last thing we need is rabbit guts all over the floor. – Katie

I always thought hack was an interesting verb. – Adam Conkey

I miss ebonics. I do. – Dr. Goodlett

Where’s Gary Oldman when you need him? – Dr. Goodlett

Always eat what ails you. – Adam C.

Jesus hates it when Goodlett sings. – Adam C.

There’s an Indian swamp in my car. – Katie
Well it’s better than alligators. – Judy

It makes your teeth feel all squeaky. – Katie (re: Mexican soda)

Snuggles loves crackheads! – Eddie O.

If I had chocolate, I would throw it at you right now. - Dr. Duffy

Gummi worms are longer. – Katie (After being asked if I should get bears or worms.)

I do not understand O’Neill, are we preparing to dance or do battle? – Teal’c

Your midlife crisis is not my emergency. – Katie

I have suction issues. – Katie

Here’s an important tip: stop doing that. – Homer’s life coach

Weird makes the world go ‘round. – Mom

My feet hurt too bad to be smart. – Mom

There’s a fat girl in my jammies. – Mom

Fine! I’m going to the bowling alley! – Jordan

There’s a blind kid feeling up a nun. – Katie

If it’s not the Pagans, it’s the huns. – KJ

Little people don’t get to ascend. – Judy

There’s some Asian chick diein’ on the TV. – Katie

That’s the quietest lightning I’ve ever seen. – Mom

Always get a woman between you and the enemy. – Sharpe

I’ll mop up your blood from the inside! – Groundskeeper Willie

Protest Stupidity/Free your mind.

Unfortunately, the balance of nature decrees that a superabundance of dreams is paid for by a growing potential for nightmares. – Peter Ustinov

The excessive increase of anything often causes a reaction in the opposite direction. ?

PS- I know a nun named Ronald. – Katie

Cuba is where Lucifer lives. – Michael Moore

I’m gonna go get the government to do my laundry. – Michael Moore

Did you know that every day Mexican gays sneak into our country and unplug our brain dead ladies? – Homer

Education’s irrelevant really. – Dr. Phillips

Our curriculum is under attack by the English department. – Dr. Phillips

You can’t trust your spinach. – Dr. Phillips

Stupid lamination. – Mike Tweed

…if I can get out of the fried hohos…. – Mike Tweed

His soul writhed with boredom…
I enjoy talking to you. Your mind appeals to me. It resembles my own mind except that you happen to be insane. – 1984

I crave attention in a desperately quiet fashion. – Eddie O.

Stop dancing so I can hit you! – Stan Smith

You talk too much for someone who’s being cooked for. – Dwayne

Movie: Bambi’s Revenge
- Bambi attacks puppy
- Raised by wolves
- Rambo?

Diney, does it hurt when root beer comes out your eyes? – Mom

You know…but you don’t look Chinese. – Sister Alice

Katie-mule

“Hot Bimbo Buns”, for the ordinary Joe.

Excuse me but I’m gonna read your front. – Dr. Goodlett

You are barreling down my backside. – Katie

Your diction conveys anger. – Katie

I’m the reason Democrats want gun control. – Adam C.

Nuclear war is just like a tornado. – Adam C.

Is it hot in here or am I having a hot flash? – Dr. Goodlett

Fringe Dipper (Adam)
Choking Frog. ?

I’ve got good friends and occasional lovers. That’ll do. – Ian Mckellan

Trying is good enough, even in seduction. – Eddie O.

I don’t trust mail that hasn’t been licked, that’s my problem. – Letterman

To force a rainbow angers God! – Stan Smith

I’m perfectly happy to be out of the closet. – Dr. Goodlett

Time to go skank. – Dr. Goodlett

There should always be scantily clad clouds. – Katie ?

Hey a saltlick. Awesome. – Eric

That’s so Virgo. – Alice

The Secret Life of Judy McGyver

Yeah. He just kinda disappeared into ugliness. – Judy

There’s something fundamentally interesting about orangutans. – Dr. Goodlett

I’ve had really bad luck with toilets. – Katie

Now I’m gonna have to go home and reevaluate my relationship with my dog. – Dr. Lexey Bartlett

My feet got wet and everything. – KJ

Catherine Francis—that’s a name that could wring a chicken’s neck. – Goodlett

She’s just so German she has to be right. – Alice

Look it’s Fruit of the Loom! – Judy

My butt itches. Not the crack, just the cheek. – Raul

We’ll probably all be pitchforked by men is smocks. – The Amulet of Samarkand

Man cannot script what sport can create. – Clint Hurdle

We are not eternal. ?

Eric is vi-curious.

Almost anything with pockets is good to eat. – Brent

I’m convincing with my lies. – Dr. Farley

Freakin’ New Guinea! – Dr. Farley

In terms of survival…cupcakes? Not so good. – Lexey Bartlett

There was this noodle I thought would never end. – Tanner

Cool name- Alex/Alan Von Fang

You can’t tune a squishy box, can you? – Jarrod

I’m not judging, I’m just clarifying what I see. – Eric

I have a mighty cough. – Katie

There are no Zorrobuns on this board. – Katie

I got Italian soda in my eye. – Katie

Just because he goes to Notre Dame doesn’t mean he’s not a Pagan. – Katie

I’m a magic disappearing booger. – Katie

I’m good at being my own Messiah. – Katie

I think my tongue might be bleeding but I’m not sure.
Licorice just brings out the blood flavor. – Katie

I’m gonna run out of receipt here if you don’t shut up. – KJ

I never lie when I’ve got sand in my shoes, commodore. – Geordie (TNG)

That’s not a pretty unicorn at all. – Eric

Story- Planet Apnea, CPAP=C3PO, O2, the Force (of air), Dr. Wan. *In progress*

When the winds of change blow, some people build walls, other people build windmills. – Chinese proverb

Apparently the universe is converging. And James Taylor is looping on the radio. – Katie

This town has a dome of suck over it. – Meghan Tucker

I like people who say things. – Goodlett

I’m squeaking even when I don’t mean to. – Goodlett

There’s some bad lemon drops out there. – Judy

I don’t think Wookies use napkins. – KJ

My hat’s in the way and I’m in neutral. – Ed

I might have heard that in a book. – Ed

I am deeply concerned and I want something good for breakfast. – UNIX fortune cookie

When you don’t follow your nature, there is a hole in the universe where you were supposed to be. – Dane Rudhyar

A root beer….this is the end of Ferengi civilization. – Quark

Why is Outlook underlining “doink” in red? Seems like a perfectly good word to me. – Ed

I should stop eating things I find in the condo. – Ed

I do not shake my chichis alone…not anymore. – Mom

Everyone’s helpfulness sucks these days. – Ione

I know a gay truck driver. – Ed

I can’t shift with gloves on. – Ed

I’ve never read a Bond movie. – Phil

Scifi means tights. – Ed
It’s the fabric of the future. – Deb H.

Bones, there’s a thing out there. – Capt. Kirk

Air and the Jonas Brothers, that’s all I need. – Landon (Brent’s cousin?)

Anton the Depriver—waiter at IHOP

I will not hear of the oranges. – Ed

Smellocules – Ed

Werecow – Deb H.

If someone tied me to a tree and set me on fire, I wouldn’t be like, “Hey! I thought we had a deal!” – Dwayne

You can always trust beans. – Mom

Dude, if I had your money I’d burn mine. - Ione